there is a bathroom i frequently use in the university library. the facilities stay clean, and they have good urinals. the best part of the urinals is that the dividers between them are really tall, so you feel like you are all alone doing your business; this is opposed to the urinals in other buildings at the university where there are no dividers, and you feel like everyone is looking at you as you, you know, take care of business. i digress.
in the bathroom that i like with the Great dividers there are four urinals. four. this, to my mind, is a terrible thing (i hate even numbers, anyway, but) you see, when a boy needs to use the restroom, he does not want to stand next to someone and do it- that would be uncomfortable, you might exclaim. it is uncomfortable for me! so the problem with the four stalls becomes that they only, at any given time, allow for two people at a time to pee comfortably. five stalls would allow three people to pee comfortably, because it would leave an unused urinal between each of the men relieving themselves.
four urinals cause other problems for me: when there is one person using a urinal, and he is on one end, do i take the urinal at the other end, or do i take the urinal one away from the peeing boy? this doesn't seem like a problem with a complex answer, right? well the complications start to show their little faces when a third person comes. if there is a third person on a four urinal system, that third person will unavoidably have to pee next to someone else. with this new complication in mind, ask yourself again, where would i stand in relation to that one person peeing at the far end of the urinals? if i am on the other end, the third person will have to choose between standing next to me or next to the other person peeing.
i hate this scenario. i always feel bad if he doesn't stand next to me, because i start questioning myself, "am i doing this wrong? do i look like i might be a 'peeper'? did he choose to stand next to the other person because i look like i might try and be personable, strike up a lively conversation? why didn't he want to stand next to me?" on the other hand, if he stands by me, i immediately get self-conscious and uncomfortable. i also am feeling bad for the guy on the other end, wondering if he is now running through the same questions discussed earlier.
that's why i prefer the scenario where i stand only one urinal away from the other person relieving himself. in this case, the third person entering the restroom, who has to stand next to someone else without any way out of it, has to choose between numbers merely and not necessarily between who is less likely to take a certain advantage of peeing next to another person. it has been reduced from personal judgment to a choice of numbers. the only question the new third person has to ask himself is, "one or two?" the answer of course is, "ah, i will pee next to only one person." without doubt, this third person is full of gratitude to the second person for his wisdom and Great foresight.
however, even this setup has its drawbacks. i think it's inevitable that if i choose to stand one urinal away from a person instead of the possible two urinals, he'll think something is up. but to this, my concerned friend, all i can say is that i have thought it through, and this is best for the both of us, i promise.
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